If you're a regular to my blog (Thanks!), you're probably already aware that I believe in the Law of Attraction along with its related laws (Law of Expectation, Law of Allowing). For people just learning it, it sounds a lot like magic -- "I think this and then it happens" -- it sounds too good to be true.
The fact is, I don't care one way or the other if our thoughts actually broadcast and materialize things. It's great if and when it works, of course, but the biggest reason I think that practicing Law of Attraction is beneficial is because it mentally steers you in the direction that you want your life to go. It makes you more deliberate in your thoughts and actions and I think THAT is absolute gold.
There's certainly no data out there to back this up, but if I had to take a wild guess I'd estimate that 80% of people create their life by default. Maybe there were times here and there where they were a little more deliberate, but on a daily basis it seems to me that most people are just letting thoughts happen, not directing them, not being deliberate, and then you get the current reality you're living in filled with unfulfilling jobs, unhappy relationships, difficult money situations, and so on.
One of the key elements to Law of Attraction is that you get what you are focusing upon, whether it be wanted or unwanted. Wanted and unwanted are a lot like two ends of the same stick. We can choose to focus on the end of the stick that's populated by the wanted or the end of the stick that's unwanted. We mostly tend to focus on the unwanted end, which then in turn tends to bring more of that to us.
Once again, I don't think this is magic. I think that it's just how we create our lives. Think about the person you know who complains the most about things in general. They can (and do) find fault in most everything under the sun. When are they ever pleasantly surprised by something or genuinely joyful? Probably never. Why? Because they keep complaining and focusing on the unwanted. When you put all of your attention there, even when something pleasing comes your way, it's hard to recognize it for what it is.
I have a friend whom I'll call Greg (changing the name to protect the non-deliberate creator). Greg is a fantastic guy. He's in his 60s but looks some decades younger. He's in great physical shape, has hobbies and interests, and a good number of friends. Greg dated another friend of mine for a year or two and it wasn't meant to be. They were cordial but there wasn't really a lot of romantic love and, in the end, it was mostly just a pairing of two lonely souls during the pandemic. Greg ended things in their relationship, which was for the best. Now he's ready to jump back into the dating pool but he spends a lot of time still complaining about the ex -- about things he did or didn't do, plans they had that didn't happen -- all sorts of things. Then he focuses upon how difficult dating is where we live. Then he focuses upon the fact that he's never been in love before. Then he focuses on his particular dating challenges. It's one thing after another. It's always a victim mentality.
So guess what's happening in the dating scene? A whole lot of nothing. Which really makes too much sense when you think about it. He is spending 100% of his effort focusing on the unwanted end of the stick.
What he doesn't realize is that it's JUST AS EASY turning the focus around on the other end of the stick. He could recognize his former relationship for what it was -- companionship and a learning experience -- and move forward. Instead of lamenting never being in love, he could focus upon wanting to find someone who he will love and who will love him back for exactly who he is. Instead of focusing upon how difficult dating is where we are, he could focus upon the fact that we're in one of the fastest-growing metros in the country and new people are moving here all the time. Our potential dating pool is only getting larger. Instead of focusing on his particular dating challenges, he could see those challenges as opportunities. A downside to one person is a feature to another.
If he would just spend a little bit of effort turning that focus around, which doesn't really take much, I'm sure he could find the partner of his dreams in no time flat. Mostly because he would be focusing in the right direction and would be moving forward with more confidence, knowing that he learned a lot from his prior relationship.
This is where deliberately choosing your focus helps you. It simply gets you in the right mindset. Back when I was dating, I was always aware of my weight, which is heavier than I'd like it to be. I thought to myself that that would be a dating challenge for me. Then, I came around to looking at myself in the mirror and recogizing the curvy cutie that I am and before long I had a whole lineup of guys. My hubby is a bit of a chubby chaser and it suits me just perfectly.
It's funny how just a little shift in mindset can make the biggest difference in the world.
Your homework, should you choose to accept it, is to think about some of the things you've been focusing on recently. You know them already. They could be thoughts about money, job, family, relationship, housing, whatever. Write down what your dominant thought is. Has it been something that's on the negative side of the stick? If so, think about what that opposite is and write it down. See if you can't start the process of shifting from thinking about the unwanted to thinking about the wanted. And then notice the changes around how you feel. It may be subtle but it may be transformative.
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