One of the greatest challenges people have to developing their habit building prowess is knowing exactly how to implement their habits the right way. As we can see from things like New Years Resolutions, habits don't always last. In fact, you might really be motivated to make a change and have the ability to make the change, but yet your new habit falls flat.
The answer is in the cue (or prompt). We are conditioned to do all sorts of things through prompting. When our boss reminds us to work on something, we tend to work on it. When we see a Taco Bell commercial, we're prompted to want to order Taco Bell. When we're thirsty, we're prompted to drink something. However, when it comes to developing a new habit we often leave the prompt/cue out of the equation, which is a shame because it's really the key component.
The cue/prompt is that little thing, that small moment, that tells you to take the next step. It doesn't have to be much of anything at all, but it should be recognizeable. Advertising and marketing pros capitalize on this concept. They are constantly loading you up with cues and prompts to make you want to buy different things. We literally swim in a sea of prompts. When I see a yellow traffic light it prompts me to floor my gas pedal!
Let's take a new habit you're trying to develop. Say, you want to make it a point to read a book after you're done eating dinner rather than turning on Netflix. It's a great goal and a nice habit to build for sure. You might think that the cue or prompt you're looking for is finishing dinner, but it's not. A cue works like this "When I do A, then I do B" or "When I finish doing A, then I start doing B".
What's the problem, then? I said I wanted to read after dinner.
The problem is that finishing dinner is rarely the last step of your dinner habit. You probably don't just leave your plates on the table, right? So you bring your dishes over and place them in the sink or in the dishwasher. Then, you still have some food left in the pot on the stove and you have to put it away, so you scoop it into a container and put it in the fridge. Then you have to wash out that pot. Think through your habits completely and identify "What is the last step in the dinner process?"
The last step might actually be pressing the On button on your dishwasher. So in ordert o get a cue that really works in developing your habit, what you really want to say is "After I turn on the dishwasher, I go to my favorite chair and read a book". I know it sounds uber-specific and maybe like splitting hairs, but it really makes a big difference. It's the difference between your reading and watching Netflix. If you set your cue up as "finishing dinner", you might remember that you want to read in a few minutes, but by the time you finish cleaning you've lost that motivation. Set your cue up as "turning on the dishwasher" and you're THERE. Chances are, you will go right to your next step and read your book.
It's the same with any habit you're developing. You really want to think about what is the very last thing you do right before you want to set up your new habit? If you want to go to the gym every day after work, you might think "When I leave work, I go to the gym". But if between those two things you have to stop by the Post Office or pick up groceries or wait for your car to defrost, you have to think about what your cue is going to actually be. It might be "I'm going to leave work, sit in my car for 5 minutes waiting for the windows to defrost, and then I go to the gym". It's splitting hairs, but in a meaningful way.
I cannot overstate how important the cue or prompt is to developing your new habit. It's exactly the reason why breaking habits seems impossible to so many people. If you are trying to quit smoking but keep the cigarettes on the table in plain sight, you're going to be prompted to smoke every time you see them. You might not even recognize or acknowledge small prompts but they exist everywhere. Every time we get a notification on our phone, we're getting a small prompt to open our phone and see if we have a message or email.
I'll be discussing more about cues and prompts in future posts, but for now -- keep up your beautiful habit building powers. You are strong, you are fabulous, you are enough.
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