Yesterday's post was all about the use of "my" and ownership. Today's concept is similar, but with a twist. Today is all about watching your use of "I Am".
When we use "my", we're taking ownership of something external to us most of the time. When we use "I Am", we're fully accepting and internalizing whatever we're owning. By owning, I don't mean physical ownership (necessarily). Instead, it's more like owning an identity. We create and define who we are, both to ourselves and to others, through our use of "I Am".
Because of this, these two little words are insanely powerful forces in our lives. There's also a hint of permanance to these words. When you go around declaring "I am" about something, you're taking it in and making it a part of you.
Take a moment and think about how you use "I am". Do you use it in a beneficial way?
As an example, below are a list of "I am" statements that I recognize that I use:
- I am D.J. Gallup
- I am a hypnotherapist, massage therapist, reflexologist, reiki master, and healing touch practitioner
- I am a good, caring friend
- I am a good son and son-in-law
- I am married
- I am a little too chubby for my own good
- I am a world traveller
- I am a roller coaster addict
- I am a good driver
- I am someone who has cyclothymia
- I am a patient person, but only to a certain point
- I am gay
- I am a healer
- I am a hiker and a swimmer
- I am a writer and content creator
That's good enough for now. By looking through these, you might start to get certain ideas about me. Most of these statements are positive and I believe all of them to be true. Yet, they're really not much more than labels and descriptions. These are all elements of my personality that I've internalized to help create and promote the concept of who "I am".
But do any of these statements actually reflect, truly and deeply, who I really am? Perhaps in a sideways kind of way. If I look for the commonalities amongst them, I can narrow it down to "I'm a curious person who likes to learn and share information with people," "I am someone who loves the people nearest to me," and "I am someone who likes to be active, mentally and physically." These "I am" statements get closer to the truth of who I am, but still seem to be inadequate.
Take some time with a notebook to write down some "I am" statements about yourself. I'm sure you can come up with a list longer than mine if you think about it. Think about times you declare these "I am" statements to others. Even little things like "I am a morning person" or "I am a night owl" count. After you're done, look back at what you wrote. Does it actually feel like a reflection of who you truly are? Probably not so much. They likely just attest to elements of your personality.
The point of the story is that I'd like for you to really consider how you use these statements. "I am" is POWERFUL. When you use that statement, you're really taking things on. When you use negative "I am" statements -- and most of us do from time to time -- you are bringing some bad juju onboard.
In my experience of working with people, the most common negative "I am" statements are "I am not enough" and "I am not worthy". These statements are absolute poison but even more importantly, they are never true. Never. If you find that you say these statements to yourself, it's in your best interest to turn them right around. You are worthy. You are enough. You were born worthy. You were born enough. Worthiness and enoughness are our birthright. Have you ever noticed that a baby does not care if it wakes Mom and Dad up in the middle of the night? No, because they were both worthy. How about when said baby is covered in poo? Even then, they have no concept that they're anything less than worthy. We only start taking on these negative notions as we grow. Bad things happen. Our parents sometimes instill these beliefs in us. Perhaps teachers or schoolmates push this on us.
Look at some of the negative "I am" statements you use. Ask yourself: Are they really true? Are they just based on events from the past? Are they just a story I've created about myself?
The good news is that you can work on changing these "I am" statements around any time you like. It just takes a little practice. It may sound silly, but take some slips of paper (Post-Its work great) and write the opposite of your negative "I am" belief. "I am not enough" becomes "I am enough". "I am a bad sister" becomes "I am someone trying to become a better sister." "I am fat" becomes "I am learning to eat healthier". Then, take those notes and post them anywhere you will see them regularly. Your car's dashboard is a great place. A bathroom mirror is great. I use an online program called Canva to make nice looking images using my new, positive statements and then I make them the background on my phone, computer, and iPad.
The goal is that you want to constantly remind yourself of your new story. When your eye does catch the papers, say it to yourself silently or aloud. Start making it real. Connect with the emotion that comes up when you say it to yourself. If you find that you smile when you say your new "I Am" statements, you'll give yourself a little boost of dopamine which actually reinforces the practice.
In the end, there are only really a few "I am" statements that are universally true.
- I am worthy
- I am enough
- I am a human being having a lived experience on earth
- I am constantly changing (Even if you're change averse, your human body is always renewing itself whether you like it or not!)
- I am always learning (Even if you're not in school, you're always learning something)
- I am always finding things that I want and don't want in my life experience
- I am one with everything
If your new, positive "I am" statements touch on one of these, they will ring true for you and that makes them even more powerful. Whenever you catch yourself using a negative "I am" statement, just take a moment and see if a) it's true and b) can you turn it around into something positive? Check in regularly with your "I am" statements and put your reminders around you and watch how different your life becomes.
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