I talk a lot on this blog and on my Youtube Channel (https://www.youtube.com/djgalluphypnotherapy ... go check it out!) about building new habits. The reason I adore this topic so much is because I see such a need for it. We all know that people are really into habit building. Heck, we even have an entire discourse around the notion of a New Years Resolution. It's a shame that well over 50% of resolutions die by January 22 of each year. Building new habits isn't such a difficult thing to do, once you have the right mindset and the right tools at hand.
On the other hand, quitting an established habit can be extremely difficult UNLESS (once again) you are coming to things from the right mindset and the right tools.
Let's take smoking as an example. We know that the government takes some practical steps toward getting people to smoke less or quit: They increase taxes on them, play PSAs on TV, and sometimes even offer free nicotine gum and patches. However, how much good does that actually do when every time you go into a gas station, pharmacy, or supermarket you see poster-sized ads with cigarettes and the new, low prices on them? Additionally, we all know that cigarettes are addictive, so there's a physical appeal to not quitting. Nicotine withdrawl can be a painful experience for people. When it comes down to brass tacks, quitting a smoking habit comes down to mindset and tools.
So, let's say you're a smoker looking to quit smoking, what works?
Well, to reduce any unwanted habit, you basically want to reverse the process of building a habit. You want to un-build it.
Step one in building a habit is to take note of your motivation level. Are you actually motivated to take on this new habit? If so, how much? Step one of removing an unwanted habit is to reduce your motivation for it. Let's say, for example, that your motivation to smoke is that you're stressed and taking that 5 minute break outdoors helps with struss reduction. That's a pretty big motivation if it works for you. So, how can we decrease it? What if we found a better stress reliever? What if we replaced going outside for 5 minutes to smoke with going outside for 5 minutes and doing deep breathing? What if we replaced it with some really good stretching? What if we found other ways in our lives to help reduce our stress levels so that you aren't as stressed to begin with?
Step two in building a habit is to look at your ability level. Are you able to complete this new habit? Is it easy or hard? We're more likely to stick with a new habit if it's easy for us to do. So, conversely, we want to make our unwanted habit harder to do. This can take a lot of different approaches, but one of the easiest ways is to follow the mantra "out of sight, out of mind". Take your cigarette pack and put it on a shelf very high up or in a box that has a lid. Make yourself THINK about grabbing your cigarettes before you grab them. Additionally, if you are the kind of smoker who buys a carton at a time, think about just buying one single pack at a time. Having to get back in your car to drive to the store is a minor deterrent, but it does help make things a little more difficult. So, consider ways of making your unwanted habit more difficult.
Step three in building a habit is to create a cue or prompt. This is the little thing we use to get us to do something. It's the "When A happens then I do B". To eliminate the unwanted habit, we want to systematically remove our cues. For a smoker, it could be several things. Maybe they smoke every time they have a cup of coffee. Maybe they smoke after every meal. Think about what happens JUST before you do your unwanted habits. You might not even be aware of them, but I guarantee that there is a pattern. Nearly all habits are set into motion by some sort of prompting.
Lastly, step 4 of building a new habit is to create a new identity for yourself. If you want to build a habit of writing, start declaring yourself a writer. Make it a part of you. Similarly, turn that concept around to remove an unwanted habit. Proudly tell yourself regularly "I am a non smoker" for instance. Say it enough and it will really start to stick. If you slip and have a cigarette here and there, don't change the identity to "sometimes I smoke". Keep it as "I'm a nonsmoker who slips up very occasionally". Make it present tense as well. It's never "I'm a former smoker" or "I'm going to bea nonsmoker in a month from now". It's simply "I'm a nonsmoker".
I also really enjoy the concept of replacing an unwanted habit with a wanted habit. As I mentioned earlier, if your unwanted habit is something you're doing to cope with stress, consider a healthier way of coping with stress and work that into your day. I know that the concept of replacing smoking with stretching may sound silly, but one of the great things about stretching is that you'll notice the benefits throughout the day through feeling less pain and tension in the body. You'll notice the positive benefits rather quickly and be more apt to stick with it.
These same steps can be used to help eliminate any other habits you're looking to get rid of in your life. If you're an overeater, you can also work on reviewing and eliminating your cues, putting food out of sight, and reducing your motivation levels. The same steps apply to most any habit you want to rid yourself of!
Thanks for reading!
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